FaMoUs BaChElOr JoKeS

Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life !!

--Anonymous

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde


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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb


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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

( i loved this one // mmhh.. i am married for 24 yrs)
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken


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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.


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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

--Anonymous

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

--Anonymous

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

--Anonymous

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

--Anonymous

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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....."

--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the
frontdoor, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in!

--Anonymous

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."

Winter Skin Care Tips - How To Look After Skin In The Winter :

Changing temperatures mean a change of routine, no matter which part of the world you live in. Knowing a little about how skin functions in the winter, and tweaking a few habits, can make all the difference between a dull winter complexion and glowing radiance.

• Start the day with a hot shower... but before you get out switch to cold water for about fifteen seconds. Then turn up the heat a little, and down again to repeat the process for about two minutes. "Why would I want to do that?!" I hear you cry! This is a simple hydrotherapy technique which revitalizes the skin by stimulating the flow of blood through the body. It is both invigorating and highly beneficial to the skin. So even though you may not really enjoy the process, just think of the all the good it's doing you!
• Use a good moisturizer. Choose a highly protective day cream which contains zinc oxide, and provides SPF30 protection to form a barrier against the elements. Creamier, water-in-oil emulsions are best. And don't forget about your lips. Chapped lips are often the most noticeable problem for a lady in the winter. Use a highly moisturizing lip balm which provides a protective barrier, with vitamin E for good elasticity.
• Exfoliate at least twice a week. This will remove dead cells and allow the skin to absorb extra moisture. The oil which we all complain about in the Summer is no longer being produced because of cooler winter temperatures and central heating. Therefore the skin looses the water which should be retained in the lower dermis of the skin. This can lead to premature aging of the skin and fine lines, whilst your skin can appear puffy and grey. Nice!
• Drink a glass of hot water with lemon. This Chinese herbal remedy is a sure-fire method of energizing your body. It will de-tox your entire system, including the liver and gall bladder. This means that your body will be able to clean the blood faster to get rid of toxins responsible for bad skin.
• Simply sleep! Money can't buy the benefits of a good nights' rest. Your oxygen levels will drop if you don't get enough sleep, meaning that your cells will not be renewed as quickly. This is when degenerative skin aging sets in. Try to get seven, if not eight or nine hours of rest a night to achieve absolutely painless benefits. It's ideal!

Yes, your mobile is being hacked,

messages spied and infected with deadly viruses!
Well, computers have been constantly
under such attacks for over a decade.

Now, it's the mobile phone?
Well, if you have recently bought one
or are a serious business user then
trust that in most probability it is today's
smartphone aka mini-computer - making
the threat in a way almost logical!

"Although a user is more likely to get hit
by a PC malware, the risk of getting hit
by a mobile malware is definitely out there.
Some mobile operators have said that three
percent to five percent of their MMS
(multi-media messaging) traffic is
caused by Commwarrior
(a deadly virus overwriting files).
Tens of thousands of infected mobile phones
have been reported to different mobile phone
stores around the world.
I've been hit five times myself,"

The most vulnerable operating
system is Symbian S60.
In fact, Trend Micro too notes that Symbian -
the most popular platform for mobile
phones including the
new Nokia N series - is most suspect to attack.

Recently released malware evolution report
too startlingly reveals Mobler.
A - a virus which is capable of infecting
Symbian and Windows based systems.
Simply speaking infected mobile phones
when interacting with a computer
will pass on the virus and vice versa.

"With more mobile operators and
telecom companies moving to packet-switched
and converged networks, the threats that used
to face only computer networks will also
affect their networks,"

"The most common spreading vectors
are Bluetooth, MMS and pirated software,"
However, these days the idea of a
virus attacking through Wi-Fi ports is not too
far fetched examines Kaspersky Lab's report.
Even F Secure states to be watching the space "closely".

However, in India the rate of incidents
has been less due to our technological backwardness.
"Indian operators have not shown interest
in securing their users from mobile virus
threats…they rush to cater to the entertainment
demands of the subscribers;
(however) when the 3G era begins the need
for security products on mobiles is
definitely going to heighten,"

So, what does the common person do?
Well, keep the Bluetooth switched off,
if you have an encrypted key to unlock
your mobile then store (if you must)
that information separately, avoid storing
critical data on removable memory cards
and get an anti-virus kit installed on the mobile.

Security vendors are surely sitting
on a hotbed of opportunity,
it must be exploited for their and the consumers' benefit.

My Tears - By Prince

Let my tears flow like the river

And Let my heart ache

I will write an elegy of suffering

I am lost and broken lover.

Let the heart break

Let my ribs break into parts

Who cares, let my body grow numb

And Let me lie among the deads.

Let the storm blow

Let the sea waves wash me away

Let the eagle pick my eyes

And let the hyenas tears me apart

What is life without you?

Let me be graved into the bog

Where my bones and flesh will rot

Let my veins never carry blood

And Let my eyes be plucked up

I don’t want to live this life.

Woe, Woe to me

That I love

Woe to me that I gave my heart

Woe to me that I am born

And I am down and broken?

Oh love! Precious love!

Don’t mock at my downfall

Enjoy and Enjoy clap your hands

For you know not my body and mind groans

For the lost love,

Be in peace, be in love

Let me be reject and lost

Never will I come to your door

With my begging bowl

Be in peace my love

Though I suffer in this painful sore.